Over the past year, I have been processing what it looks like to show up in this virtual space as authentic. Of course, I hope that everything I engage in always lives and breathes with authenticity at the core. I want to remain in authenticity. And, still this is a hard thing to grapple with, as by nature, these spaces are not the physical reality. But here is the thing, authenticity is an energy and energy moves through all facets of existence. Therefore, authenticity can move through even these spaces that often feel disconnected, fake and well, to some degree not real.
This last full moon brought into focus the energies of authenticity over performance. So it was no surprise that as the energy led up to the full moon, my energy was intensely focused on reworking my entire website and presentation to more accurately represent the work I do and the energy from which that flows.
Defining oneself may be one of the greatest challenges there is seeing we are all ineffable energy flowing through energy bodies we cannot fully comprehend. Yet, we are often called into this task of defining to bring clarity.
As I rewrote so much of my influences, teachers and things I have studied that are integral parts of my work; I had this one piece in the background as I teased the different elements out.
I have intentionally rejected the idea that some one or some entity outside of one's own validation is needed (to create ones life work/path).
When I was in early high school years, I began to consider life paths, college, degrees and what all that meant. It never meant much to me. There are thousands of people performing something they were trained in, that have zero authenticity to the core of that very work. I knew that just because I trained in something or received a diploma or degrees, it did not mean anything, unless that is also what moved in expressive form through me every day.
As I was writing out all my teachers over the years of my life that have culminated in the work I do now, I had this realization: I intentionally choose self directed learning because the work I do cannot be confined to one degree or line of work or even a field really...because it's also ineffable.
Expressions of the heart happen to be that way. Hard to pin down other than valuable beyond this realm.
I suppose had I chosen to "educate" and rely upon degrees for my training I would still be in school. Because I would have pursued degrees in Integrative Medicine, Chiropractic, Music Therapy, Traditional Chinese Medicine, Spirituality and Consciousness, Quantum Physics, Anthropology, Social Justice and Liberation, Nutrition, Cultural Justice, Ecology, Ceremonial Movement Arts, Botany, Sexuality and Intimacy, Biology, Psychotherapy specializing in Grief and Trauma, Linguistics, Leadership, Indigenous Relations, Environmental Justice, Art Therapy, Biomechanics, Quantum Biology, Fascial Networks, Midwifery (fuck obstetrics), all things female body related actually...well, as you can see, that is not the timeline I choose.
I chose to move step by integrated step through all these various fields of interest and in my own way weave them together. Actually this is a journey that will keep evolving at every stage of my beingness.
I chose to validate my own path and responsibly weave a whole new expression.
This is actually what we all do, from the time of conception. We uniquely weave a new energy into the tapestry of all life. It's unique, it's precious and every stage, every aspect is a miracle.
I do not know why my path is as it is, but I am wholly ok with it and feel radical responsibility to remain in authenticity and integrity to the work I do. And when I hear about health care providers recommending tests that prove little to nothing for pregnant women, I cringe thinking about how hard it is for licensed doctors to practice in alignment with the most up to date research (if they are even aware of that research) without coming in to question from their advisors/boards or facilities they work in. It's wild; and a reality.
I realized in all this process that the most valuable part of this path is the thread that weaves through all my offerings and it is the thread, that you are of perfect design. Every single being is of perfect design, simply because they are.
We do not need anything outside of ourselves. Often we look for things, validation, experiences...and they always lead us in some way or another back to ourselves.
It is such a precious message to me. It is such a gift to even ponder, that when we come back into ourselves and see the truth; the truth that was right there all along it says: The truth of who you are, the authenticity of your very beingness is enough and will always be more valuable, important and integral than your performance.
It's in the stillness that we receive this reality. It's in the quiet that we can focus on such truth best. Sometimes it takes the quiet of life events to bring us back to this, and for some, they don't find this until the end.
Within my work though, it is a guiding light and informs the way I relate to and work with others. It's a vision beyond the physical that enables me to see into the highest most authentic frequency; beyond the stories of this world.
It's not wrong to have degrees or accolades or even to perform well, but it is disingenuous to your soul to live from a belief that those are more authentic and of greater value than your unique and divine heart beat, expressing every day.
I look forward to the time when all humanity lives from this space of authenticity over performance. When people choose to express, live and be from the truth of knowing they are perfect divinity.
Truly, that is the future of all life. Authentic just raised the vibe; the planets, the stars they just keep telling us this truth over and over.
I for one am here to listen to their message.
I have so much more learning, integrating, loving and living to do and I am putting authenticity over performance and letting it be uniquely expressed through me.